Sometimes i call your house, just to hear
Your voice on the answering machine.
But it’s been overwritten now.
You still paid for those walls. This will never
Change.
Am i strong or numb? exposed or sheltered more
Than ever?
I’ll take all the sympathy i can get, but nothing
Will make things better. 7 months flew by, like
Nothing. no, i didn’t ignore it all. i held on. and no
i didn’t dwell either. but no one ever sits around
Planning how they would react to these sorts of
Things. he’s gone.
No longer with us.
Forever.

Life is so fragile and temporary, and yet when
We have it we forget that. the nature of
Living is not to know death. absence.
Now we know.
Videos are hard to watch.
i erased your number from my phone.
Between guilt and sadness and picking up the
pieces i don’t know how to feel.
So I just get on with things.
Like I always do.
Move on to something less painful, less complicated.
But everything is complicated.
So where does that leave me?
The same excuses, justified.
i love you, now get away from me.